Memories Long Forgotten
by Mithril-Moony
Summary: Remus Lupin always wondered why he has no memory of his life before age 6. When he dreams bits and pieces of a forgotten childhood, he begins to unravel his own trajic past. WAS CALLED GRACEFUL FIGURES. plz read and review! thankies!
1. a Ball, and a Birthday

Author's Notes: This is my time writing fanfiction, so bear as I try to improve. But, I'll improve faster if you leave a review! Contruntive criticism, or complements only!

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.

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Chapter 1: The Ball 

Five year old Remus Lupin sat on the ornate floor of a ballroom among a large pile of presents. He sat hunched over, propping up his head with his hands, idly watching the adults twirl gracefully around the gold-trimmed room, dancing to grand-sounding music. His light, longish brown hair flopped over into his face, but he didn't bother to swipe it aside. Remus sighed as he leaned back against the wall. It would be his 6th birthday tomorrow, and his parents had thrown him a ball, as was custom in the rich wizarding families.

The adults twirled and clapped twice with the beat, elaborate, emboidered dress robes swishing. Everything was so lit up and grand, he hated it. It made him feel small, unimportant, even though the ball was thrown in his honor.

Remus was so bored, that he didn't even notice as two boys plopped down on either side of him.

"Bored, Remus?" asked the one to his left. He had messy black hair, hazel eyes, and round glasses.

Remus nodded. "I didn't even want the ball, but Mummy and Daddy insisted. I think they just like to dance." The boy on his right laughed. He, too, had messy black hair. His brown eyes sparkled with mirth.

"I _hate_ balls. The music is so annoying, it's too loud.Plus, ballsare boring...You know what? I heard that muggles and mud-bloods-

"Sirius!" shouted Remus and James Potter at once. "You shouldn't say stuff like that." continued James. "My Mummy and Daddy don't like it when people say that."

"So what?" asked Sirius, "My parents say it all the time."

"Just don't say it, Sirius," Remus said quietly. He groaned, "Ugh...I hate balls. Wish they'd hurry up and finish dancing. I'm hungry."

Sirius and James nodded in agreement.

Remus looked out the window at the dark sky, where a full moon was beginning to rise. "My Mummy says monsters come out at the full moon,"

"Not monsters," said Sirius, "Werewolves. They're worse than monsters. They sneak up on you..." He carefully crept behind James, who was staring at the dancers, "And bite you!" he suddenly pounced on James, who yelped in surprise. Remus laughed.

"So, werewolves are evil? Like vampires?"

"Yep." replied Sirius. "Every last one would rip your guts out."

"Ewww!" said James, his nose wrinkled in disgust. "Gross!"

They watched the rest of the ball in silence. Around midnight, the three boys were curled up, fast asleep on the floor. The guests began to leave, pointing and exclaiming about how cute they were. Mrs. Black frowned and barked.

"Sirius Lee Black! What is the meaning of this, falling asleep on the floor like common filth!"

Poor Sirius blinked sleepily and muttered softly. "Sorry, ma'am."

His mother spanked him hard. Biting back tears and casting a last look at his sleeping friends, Sirius followed his mother out the door. Mrs. Potter frowned after them. _It's horrible how that family treats children. _She thought. Then, gently picked up James.

Finally, after they had bid all their guests good night, Mrs. Lupin picked up her son gently and took him to bed. She tucked him in, kissed his forhead then turning the lights, gazed at him fondly. She sighed. _My little boy is growing up. Six already..._ Shaking her head, she went downstairs.

* * *

"Remus!" yelled Mrs. Lupin the next morning. "Time to get up!" 

Remus groaned and curled into a tight ball. "Not yet..." He'd been having a wonderful dream...except he'd forgotten what it had been about. Suddenly, he remembered that it was his 6th birthday. He paused for a second, wondering how he had gotten to bed. Dismissing it, he squealed happily and got up, clutching his little teddy bear.

As he entered the kitchen, he saw with delight his favorite breakfast on his plate.

"Thanks Mummy!" he ran up to her and put his arms around her waist; as high as his little arms could reach. She laughed, picked him up, and set him in his chair. "Happy birthday, sweetie." She kissed his light brown head.

"When are Siri and James getting here?" he asked.

"Later, Remus."

"When later?"

She sighed. "Two hours."

"I have to wait _that long_ before I get my presents?" Remus asked.

"Yes, Remus"

Remus waited a bit before asking his next question. "Where's Daddy?"

"You'll see," his mother said mysteriously. "It's a surprise."

"I'm done."

"Good, now wash up and get dressed. Your friends will be here before you know it."

Remus grinned and dashed out of the room. Happily, he charged up the stairs to his room. Within the next 5 minutes, he had washed up and gotten dressed. He sat on the window seat. He was so excited about his birthday party, James and Sirius had better hurry up and arrive...


	2. A dream? or something more?

Author's Notes: okay, all of my little symbols for formatting and spacing are gone, no matter what I've tried, it just won't let me, so if the scenes get a little squshed together, it isn't my fault. Also, if any punctuation marks are missing, that's why.

Disclaimer: If only I owned this.

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Chapter 2: A dream? or something more?

Remus jolted awake. The dream (or had it been a dream?) Had seemed so realistic...He could almost still taste the pancakes, the bacon... He shook his head. _Impossible._

He gazed out the window of his dormatory, where pale golden sunlight drifted lazily through, in it,specks of illuminated dust drifted pointlessly.

A loud snore and grunt rang out through the room. Remus rolled his eyes and turned his head to see his friend, Sirius Black, helplessly sprawled on his four-poster bed, mouth slightly ajar. Remus smiled, resisting the temptation to take a picture and wake his slumbering friend.

Not having anything better to do, he slipped out of bed, got dressed, and descended into the Gryffindor Common Room. He sat in the sofa in front of the fire-place, where ashes that were once a fire glowed.

_The dream had been even more realistic than the others..._

Remus had been having dreams of that sort for some time, but none had been as realistic as last night's. He sighed.

_This is just too weird. It's not some kind of...premonition, I'm younger in the dreams...Maybe, just maybe, could they be some kind of memory?_

Today was not the first time this idea had occurred to Remus, he desperately wished that the dreams, or memories were real.

Everyone else, James, Sirius, Lily, Peter,seemed to havememories of their childhood. But he, Remus, couldn't remember anything at all before age six.

_It just makes me even more as an outcast..._

"What's up, Remus?" a voice said loudly from behind him. Remus turned to see James Potter grinning, as always. "No, seriously Remus," he said, smile fading, "You seem kind of down, worried...Are you ok?"

Remus smiled, "I'm fine James, it's just, His Majesty, the King Sirius Black kept me up with his terrible snoring."

James grimaced. "Ugh, yeah, I know! We _really _need to talk to him about that..."

"Talk to who about what?" Sirius entered the room, bleary eyed and yawning.

"Nothing, Sirius," James and Remus said simultaneously.

"Well, I'm hungry," announced Sirius. "Let's go to the Great Hall already."

James rolled his eyes. "If you don't mind, Your Highness, I am waiting for someone."

"Yeah, you mean Lily Evans. Give it a rest, James, she's gonna hate you forever anyway."

James glowered at him.

"I'll go with you Sirius," said Remus. Unlike James, he welcomed the distraction of going down to the Great Hall. It might prevent him from dwelling on the dream/memory.

In the Great Hall, Sirius piled his plate with food, and commenced shovelling it down. Remus watched, eyebrow raised. "Honestly, do you actually thing you're going to be able to eat all that?"

Sirius grunted in reponse.

As Remus was eating his modestly filled plate, James moodily plumped down next to him. In the hallway, he could hear a girl shouting furiously. "James, exactly what did you say to her?"

"I don't know what her problem is, all I did was ask her out."

"James," said repeated Remus, "Exactly what did you say?"

"I said, 'OY! Evans, wanna go out with me? It's a HUGE honour.'"James was clearly annoyed. Remus rolled his eyes.

"James, you really need to learn how to ask girls out."

"And what do _you_ know about that? You've never asked a girl out in your life."

Remus shrugged. "It just takes common-sense, something, you obviously don't posses." James glared, but said nothing.

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence until Peter appeared 20 minutes later, but even then, thethree boys only offered a "Hello". Sirius was still too busy eating, Remus was pondering the dream, and James was still ticked off about Lily Evans. Peter shrugged, unnoticed. He was used to this treatment by now.

Remus glanced at his schedule as the four friends left the Great Hall after breakfast. "We have... Transfiguration first."

Peter groaned. "I _hate_ transfiguration. I'm so bad at it,"

"No offense, Pete," said Sirius, "But you're bad at pretty much everything."

They entered the classroom and took their normal seats in the back. Old Professor Hesley smiled as they walked in. His short, curly grey hair framed his wrinkled face where too equally grey eyes shone and twinkled kindly. _It's a pitty he's retiring soon, _Remus thought. He took out his quill and paper as the bell rang.

"All right class, today, we'll be studying how to transfigure out desks into small mammals." said the Professor. "Watch closely." He demonstrated the proper technique for the complex spell. "Now, this will be rather difficult for some of you, so don't be discouraged if you don't get it at first." James beamed. He was completely confident he would have no trouble transforming the desk.

"The spell is _veravertis. _Off you go then."

Remus placed his wand on the desk. "Veravertis," the desk quivered and became ever so slightely, furry. He frowned and tried again. "Veravertis!" Same result. Frustrated, he looked over to James. What he saw made him want to throw down his wand in fristration. Where James' desk had been, now stood a mouse.

Remus turned back to his desk. "Veravertis! Veravertis! Veravertis! Vera...whoa..." on his last try, the desk had morphed into a perfect, brown hamster. Remus leaned back in his chair, satisfied.

He looked around the room to see how everyone else was faring.

Sirius, as he had expected, already had his desk in his pocket (a quivering pink nose stuck out of it.)

Peter, sweating profusely, still had a wooden desk. "Veravartis! Veraber-Veravitis!"

Remus took pity on him and helped him. "It's Veravetis, Pete. Not Veravitis."

"Oh, er, thanks Remus. Veravertis!" the desk became a rat.

Peter grinned, scooped up the rat, and began playing with it. "You know, Remus," he whispered, "I'm glad that I'm going to be rat animagus. They're so sneaky, smart too, you know. I think they're cool."

Remus said nothing, notunderstanding his reasoning behind actually _wanting_ to be a rat.

Most of the class had their desks transformed by now. Rats, mice, hamsters, and gebils scurried around the floor. Several of the more squeamish girls shrieked.

"Oh come on! They're just rodents! They can't hurt you," said an exasperated red-head.

"That's easy for you to say, Lily," said a blond girl, hoop earrings dangling, pink lip-gloss shining, "You're so good at charms and DADA, you could control them and make them leave you alone."

Lily rolled her eyes and took out a book. _The Lord of the Rings..._It struck a bell in Remus' head for some reason.

The bell rang, and class ended. "Hang on!" Shouted the Professor over the noise of talking students, "Put your rodents into the box by the door before you leave."

Remus noticed that Sirius kept a firm hand in his pocket.

* * *

That evening, Remus dropped his bag in the Common Room, exhausted. After lessons, James and Sirius had dragged him out onto the Quidditch pitch so they could practice. Remus abhorred Quidditch, but of course, he never told that to James or Sirius. 

Resignedly, he took out his homework and started on his potions essay. The words blurred. He just couldn't concentrate, he was too tired.

_Perhaps, I could just rest a bit..._Remus slipped out of conciousness.

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so, chapter 2 is done. thumbs up or thumbs down? 

Moony


	3. Goodbye Sirius, I knew ye well

Author's Notes: the problem with the formatting and punctuation marks remains.

So you don't get confused, we're back to right after remus' 6th birthday. review please!

Disclaimer: (sigh) not mine...

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Chapter 3: Goodbye, Sirius, I knew ye well

Little Remus stared out his window from his window seat. The night was black and starless, as the sky was obscured by clouds. Remus sat quietly, enjoying the sound of rain on the roof. Little streams of it criscrossed over the dark window pane. His father was taking Sirius and James home. He smiled. Today had been a great day. He'd gotten so many great presents and, best of all, he was now officially a 6 year old.

"Remus?" came a voice from behind him.

Remus turned to see his father, Jonathon Lupin standing in the doorway. He had spent half the day transforming the shed in their back yard into a paradise for the three 6 year olds, complete with a pool and trampolines.

"Yes, Daddy?" Remus asked.

Mr. Lupin sat tiredly on his son's bed. "Remus, come here, please."

Remus paled slightely. Whenever his Daddy used that tone of voice, something bad had happened. He had used that dreaded tone to tell Remus when his grandmother had died...

Remus scrambled onto the large bed and snuggled up close to his father, waiting for the bad news.

"Remus, I'm afraid that...You aren't going to be able to see Sirius any more."

Remus froze. "Wh-Why, Daddy?"

Jonathon Lupin sighed. "Well, we don't like his parents very much, and they don't like us-

"But why can't I play with Sirius any more?"

"I got into a fight with his father, and well, Remus, I know Sirius is a good person, but his parents...they're a different story. Besides, Sirius isn't allowed to see James any more, either."

_His parents say that James and the Potters are having to much of an influence on him. _Jon silently added.

Remus had a lump in his throat. "But _why_?"

Jonathon looked down at the top of his son's head. "You'll understand when you're older. Remus, don't let this ruin your birthday. I'm sure everything will smooth out eventually." he kissed the top of his son's head. "Now, go to sleep."

Remus snuggled into bed and his father tucked him in. As he went to turn out the lights and close the door, Jon turned back and whispered to his already sleeping son.

"I love you, Remus," He close the door.

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(Jonathon Lupin's POV)

"Jon?" asked Remus' mother as he came down stairs. "How did he take it?"

"Fine," he sighed. "I guess it was just the last straw. I mean, we've fought with the Blacks for years, and this has never happnened."

"I'm sure it will blow over."

"I'm not so sure," Jon said seriously. "They really think that Voldemort is heading in the right direction. I couldn't just lie and agree with them. I feel sorry for Sirius. His parents will be paying more attention to him now that they know that he's leaning towards Dumbledore's and the Ministry's side."

Nathalie Lupin sighed. "It really is a pitty, I was growing fond of the boy." she gasped, realizing something. "Jon! You said they were recruiting you, do you think that...Will they come after you, now that they know you won't be turned?"

Jon slumped into an arm-chair. "It's a possibility. We need to take precautions, of course, but I think we'll be safe for at least a few months."

"Still, we shouldn't take any necessary risks. We should prepare ourselves immediately."

"Yes, I know, Nathalie," he said annoyed, "But going into hiding seems a little much, and properly protecting the house with spells takes time. A month, at least. We'll be fine, Nathalie." he added quietly.

Nathalie bit her lip in worry. A lot could happen in a month.

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Well, that's chapter 3. I'm sorry it's short, but... that's just the way it is. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! Thank you! 

Moony


	4. Of potions and animagi

Author's Notes: back to the present, or, er, Marauder era. On the animagus transformation: it's a combination of potions and spells. You need the spells to tell you the animal you need for the potion. (If you use any other animal the potion will go dreadfully wrong.) Okay, so...to the story.

Disclaimer: rub it in, why don't ya! Nothing is mine except the plot!

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Chapter 4: of potions and animagi

Remus groaned as he was shaken awake. "Five more minutes, Mum..." He was comfortable in his nice, warm bed. He hid his brown head under the pillow to escape the unforgiving light.

"Remus! Wake up already!" came the exasperated voice of James Potter.

"I say we dump cold water on him." said Sirius' voice to his left.

"Wha?" mumbled Remus, "I'm up, I'm up, what do you want?"

"You missed breakfast. So we thought we'd wake you up. You have 10 minutes to get ready before Potions."

Remus visibly froze under the covers. He slowly sat up in bed, and said coolly. "Ten minutes? That's it?" he dropped the calm exterior, his eyes burned in rage. "WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP SOONER? I'M GOING TO BE LATE FOR CLASS!" Remus jumped out of bed and frantically started getting ready. Sirius and James looked at each other and burst out laughing. Remus growled in annoyance.

Eight minutes later, they were running towards the dungeons, Remus muttering under his breath. _It's their idea of fun to see if they could make me late for class._ They skidded to a halt in front of the class room with 3 minutes to spare, they caught their breath, then calmly walked in.

"Cutting it a little close, aren't we boys?" asked Professor Temply, their teacher. She stood in front of the class, hair flying everywhere, as usual, hands on her hips. "I've told you before, I expect you to be 5 minutes early to my classroom so you can get ready to learn. Take your seats, please."

James, Sirius, and Remus sank down into their normal seats at the back of the room. Peter was already there as he had refused to wait for Remus.

Professor Temply wrote the ingredients to a potion on the board. "This is a medical potion," she explained, "And so after your finished today, I'm going to take them all up to Madame Pomphrey . Now, this potion is commonly called Pepper-Up, but it's formal name is _Ennervatem_. You have 30 minutes, and you may talk, but only if you talk quietly. Begin."

"So Remus," said Sirius, as he took out all the ingredients for the potion out of his bag, "What was so important in the dream that you skipped breakfast?" he winked, "Was she pretty? What did you do?"

Remus glared at him. "For your information, Sirius, I didn't dream about a girl. I dreamed that some Slytherin had pranked you into oblivion."

Sirius returned his glare. James mercifully intervened before he could make a comeback. "Chill out, Sirius, if he doesn't want to tell us, that's his problem."

Remus moodily chopped up the ingredients. _Stupid, girl-obsessed Sirius._ _But what did I dream about? Was is all a dream? It was all so realistic. I never met Sirius before I came to Hogwarts, right? _Remus shook his head in puzlement. _I guess the only way for me to find out whether it's a dream or not would be to ask Mum and Dad. But I need to do that in person...I guess I'll have to wait until Christmas break..._

They were nearing Halloween; it was only a week away, so Remus wouldn't be forced to wait too long.

He finished and bottled his potion. Remus brought it up to Temply's desk for inspection. She sniffed the bottle's contents, dripped a little out onto her hand and looked at it. She nodded. "Yes. Very good, Remus. Madame Pomphrey will be able to use this. You can do what you want for the rest of the class." Remus went back to his desk, still in a daze. _What if the dream was real?_

Sirius watched Remus sit down again. His friend seemed unusually spacey. "Rem?" he asked, "Are you okay?"

Remus snapped out of his daze. He blinked. "Oh, erm...I'm fine, Siri." Sirius raised his eyebrow, but said nothing.

After the class ended, the three friends plus one, headed to History of Magic (Remus was the only one that stayed awake), then to Care of Magical Creatures. By the time Remus was walking back into the castle, he felt weak with hunger.

"Ugh, I feel like I'm going to be sick" he moaned as they sat down it the Great Hall.

"Then don't eat," said Peter.

"Not sick like that, stupid," said Sirius. "He's sick 'cause he hasn't eaten anything all day."

Remus piled a lot of everything onto his plate.

"Better be careful, Remus, you'll turn into Sirius at this rate," teased James. Remus ignored him.

That evening, the Marauders went to the library (gasp). James and Sirius quietly slipped into the Restricted Section under the invisibility cloak while Remus and Peter kept watch.

"Okay, we're out!" whispered James. The four quickly left the library to find a deserted classroom.

James threw off the cloak and grinned. "May I present, the book that will enable us to become animagi!"

Sirius grinned. "We must all bow to it." He did so dramatically. Remus rolled his eyes as Peter followed his lead.

"I'm sorry, but I refuse to bow to a book."

Sirius shrugged. "Suit yourself,"

"Ugh," said James as he flipped through the pages. "I really didn't need to know exactly what that potion does to people,"moaned James,quickly flipping past a diagram where someone was being turned inside out. "Polyjuice...Ah, here we are. The Animagus Potion. What a dumb name."

"Let me see." Sirius pulled the book away from James and made a face. "How on Earth are we supposed to get all this stuff? Pickled dragon tongue? Acromantula web? A bit of the animal you're going to change into is the easiest by far."

"But we have to do it," said James. "All that work we did. Casting the spells so we could know our animal. It will all go to waste if we quit now. And what about Remus?"

"Okay, chill James. I wasn't even thinking about quitting. There's no challenge Sirius Black can't beat."

"I highly doubt that," said Remus. "It's late. We can't do anything today, even if it _was_ easy."

Peter nodded. "Yeah. It's dinner time. I'm so hungry...let's go eat."

James glared at him. "You'd rather eat than start this potion? All you think about is your stomach. Fine, you go eat, and Sirius, Remus, and I will start the potion."

"Well, actually James..." began Sirius. "I'm a bit hungry myself."

James sighed and ran his hand through his hair making it even more messy than it was before. "You two are impossible. Remus, what do you say?"

Remus shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me,"

"Majority rules," cheered Sirius. "All right gang, let's go."


	5. The invisibility cloak

Author's Notes: back to the past...

Disclaimer: JKR owns all the lovable characters used in this story.

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Chapter 5: The invisibility Cloak

Remus moodily stared at the cream coloured wallpaper of the living room. Idly, he kicked the chair with his small foot. The chair had always been his favorite. It was white and large enough for him to curl up in. The cushion was also bouncy When he was three years old, he had loved bouncing on it, much to his parent's displeasure. He sighed as birds sang and chattered outside the ornate window, through which golden sunlight was pouring. He hated the sunlight. It was teasing him, mocking him, reminding him that he wasn't allowed to go outside.

Remus restlessly got up and walked into the kitchen, hoping there was something snacky to eat. He opened the pantry and tried in vain to reach the bread on the top shelf. He stomped his foot in annoyance. Frustrated, he went upstairs to read a book.

Lately, he had found books more and more appealing. While his body was cooped up inside the house, his mind was free to wander the worlds he glimpsed through the pages of books. He wasn't too fond of scientific books, or history books, they were far too dull for a six year old. He adored fiction, mostly muggle fantasy. He was currently reading the Lord of the Rings. It was hard going, and he read very slowly, but the story was fascinating because his father said it was based on fact.

The muggle, J. R. R. Tolkien had found many scrolls that contained the history of a magical community in northern England. While the plot of the book had been fiction, all the characters had once existed. There really had been a Sauron (one of the first dark lords), an Aragorn, Arwen, Frodo, Legolas, Gimli...they just had never really met.

The sun set, but there was still no sign of his parents, who had gone out to get supplies. They lived several miles from any village (the closest being Hogsmeade), so Remus wasn't expecting them back until later.

As the last rays of the sun disappeared from the purplish-blue sky, a rock hit his window. It had been enchanted to never break, but the sound of the empact caused Remus to look up in alarm. He crept quietly over and looked down. To his astonishment, none other than James Potter grinned up at him. James motioned for him to come down.

Abandoning his book, Remus ran down to the first floor as fast as his little legs would carry him. He burst out through the front door of the mansion for the first time in weeks. "James!" he yelled happily as the ran to him. "I've missed you so much! What are you doing here?"

His friend grinned. "I missed you too, Remmy. I thought I'd pay you a little visit."

Remus' smile faded. "What if my Mummy and Daddy catch you?" he asked quietly.

James' grin widened. "They won't because my Daddy gave me something really cool." He held out a strange, glittery fabric for Remus to inspect. Remus gently took the strange thing and gasped as he touched it. It felt so sleek, it was almost wet. The cloth was gey-ish blue-ish purple-ish, Remus thought.

"What is it?" he asked.

"It's an invisibility cloak. Daddy says, if you wear it, nobody can see you."

Remus' eyes widened. "That's so cool! Can I try?"

"Not right now," said James, mischevious smile fading. "It's real late and my parents are gonna get worried." he brightened. "But I'lll come and see you again soon!"

"Promise?" asked Remus

"Promise." answered James.

He put the cloak back on and disappeared. Though he had been expecting it, Remus gasped as he vanished into thin air.

"Bye Remus!" James' disembodied voice called. And he was gone.

Slightly disappointed, but happy all the same, Remus went back into the house to await his parents' return.

Over the next three weeks, James appeared at Remus' house almost every night after Remus' parents were asleep. Together, they explored the woods around Remus' house and once even ventured to a farm where they played with the animals half the night.

Though he lost a lot of sleep, Remus had never been happier.

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_Number 12 Grimmauld Place_

Mrs. Esmeralda Black sat facing her husband in a dark, depressing living room. The room was ornately decorated in black and green silks and velvets. Depressing tapestries dating from the Middle Ages and embroidered with silver thread were hung on the walls. A beautiful ebony fireplace took up half of one of the walls, but the fire had long since died.

Regulus Black I, paced back and forth on the faded carpet, hands behind his back, head bent, and muttering. After a while, he stopped, and turned to face his wife, a diabolic expression on his unnaturally pale face.

"My dear," he said, his voice cool and calculating. "I believe I have found the solution to our problem."

Esmeralda watched him, waiting for a response, her dark eyes glittering.

"Jonathon Lupin has many weaknesses, the largest of which is his love for his wife and snivelling son, Remus. What a muggle name." he spat the last sentence with distaste.

"So what's your _brilliant _plan?" asked Esmeralda sarcastically.

Her husband ignored the tone of her voice. "It's quite simple. We must break him. And to do that, we first break his son." he grinned evilly. "As an added bonus, it will teach our Sirius never to associate with muggle-lovers." Regulus smiled, but his eyes remained cold.

Esmeralda nodded her approval and with an equally cold smile she said, "Excellent, but how do we do that? Simply killing the boy wouldn't be enough."

"I have it all taken care of." replied Regulus.

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dun dun dun...I hope you liked chapter five. Chapter 6 is on its way. PLEASE REVIEW!

Moony


	6. the full moon approaches

Author's Notes: okay. So...this chapter is of course...back to the marauders. Hope you enjoy! And please review. I might not update so fast if I don't get any reviews...but how do I know anybody other than my friends are actually reading this? So if I don't know you personally, please drop a review! It only takes, what? 15 seconds at the most? I'd appreciate it, thanks!

Disclaimer: If only I had enough money to buy the rights to Remus and Sirius and James...

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Chapter 6: full moon approaches

Remus woke up, his mind muddled with the memory of his dream. The first thing he noticed upon opening his eyes was the worried face of James staring down at him.

"Are you okay, Moony?" he asked.

Remus blinked. "Moony?"

"Yeah," said James, "If you don't mind us calling you that, I think it's a great nickname. Pure genius."

"Sure is," said Sirius who had just sat on the foot of Remus' bed. "I made it up."

"Anyway..." said James. "Moony was just about to answer my question."

Remus thought for a second, weighing his options...(to keep secrets, or not to keep secrets...that is the question) Finally he gave in. "James..." he said hesitantly, "We never met before Hogwarts, right?"

James frowned. "What do you mean Remus?"

Remus became flustered. "I mean, I've been having these odd dreams...like they're some forgotten memory...I dunno...but you're in them...and Sirius...I mean..."

James sat on the other side of the bed next to Sirius, eyebrows furrowed. "Stop muttering and explain exactly what you mean, from the beginning of the dreams."

Remus concentrated on remembering the first part of his dream. It was as if he was looking at the scene through murky waters...he could barely remember any details.

"There was a ball...graceful figures were dancing...you and Sirius were there...except, we were younger. Like, I dunno...five, or six...and there was...this is crazy, but I think there was a full moon." He looked at his friends. "If only I could remember when I was bitten, I would know if the dream was real or not."

"But what makes you think it's real," asked Sirius, confused. "It could be just, you know...a dream."

Remus shook his head. "It was too clear to be a dream...oh! I remember something else, it was my birthday. So that's why there was a ball...In the next dream, my Dad, I think, told me that we weren't going to be able to see you again, Sirius. Something about a fight with my parents..."

Sirius looked pensive.He said slowly, "When I was about 6 years old, I remember loosing all of my friends. I don't remember their names, what they looked like...I was just suddenly alone. Then, my parents suddenly came into my life. I mean, before, I was pretty much raised by nannies and people like that. I always thought something was weird about that...Now that I think of it, I don't remember any nannies at all...In fact, the first thing I remember is me yelling at my Mum for saying -he paused- mudblood." he said the last word quietly, as if afraid to let anyone hear.

James stared. "That's odd...My parents said I was in a bad accident when I was 6, that's why I couldn't remember anything before that."

Remus stared. "You mean...you both...have no idea about your lives before you were six?"

His friends nodded. An odd feeling crept into Remus' stomach. "So," he said. "You two don't remember anything, and I don't remember, so...the dreams...they could be...real?"

They nodded again.

"Is that all, you can remember, Moony?" asked James.

"Yes. No, wait...My parents didn't allow me to leave the house for some reason. And you, James, you came. And you had your invisibility cloak..."

James, looking completely solemn for one of the first times in his life said quietly, "I got my invisibility cloak around my 6th birthday."

"Well, that settles it then." Sirius said brightly. "All three of us have amnesia."

Remus and James looked at each other for a moment with raised eyebrows.

"You just don't get it, Sirius, do you? We don't have amnesia. Someone has modified our memories."

"Not just someone," put in James, "Our parents did it. It's obvious that the whole point to the memory loss is that we don't remember each other. Our parents all gave us different reasons as to why we can't remember anything. That makes it obvious that it's them."

"Maybe they were trying to protect us from something," said Remus, "I can't imagine my Mum and Dad hurting me for any reason."

James nodded, but Sirius scowled. "That's no possible, Remus. Your parents love you. Your parents would do anything to protect you." his scowl deepened. "My parents hate me. I _can _imagine them hurting me. If I had hurtful memories of you, then they would leave them for me to dwell on. They wouldn't spare me _any_ pain, if they could help it."

All three jumped as the door opened. In walked Peter, carrying extra bits of toast from breakfast. Cheerfully, he put them in the small pantry the Marauders kept their contraband food in, and went to take a shower. On an impulse, Remus called out to him as he was about to shut the bathroom door.

"Hey Pete! What's your oldest memory?"

Peter paused for a second and replied, closing the door, "My Dad taking me to Honeydukes for the first time when I was three."

Remus blinked, but had expected an answer like that. It was the answer to a question he'd had since 2nd year.

For some reason, he had always felt closer to Sirius and Jams, like he had known them forever. Remus confided in them or no one. But Peter...Remus would never tell him anything.

The fact that Peter had memories before 6 proved that, if indeed the dreams were real, they had never met before Hogwarts. Feeling like he had known James and Sirius from before began to make sense.

Sitting on the bed, next to his two best friends, Remus sensed a rift in the Marauders. A gap was growing between Peter and the other three. Remus immediately began piling up all the times Peter hadn't been loyal to them. Instinct told Remus that he should stop the rift from growing, but at the same time, he wanted Peter gone. Peter smelled of danger.

"Oy! Earth to Moony!" Remus became aware of a hand waving in front of his face. He blinked.

"Sorry guys, I was just thinking."

"Well, it's Saturday," said Sirius, tired ofthe thought provoking conversation, "Everyone knows you're not supposed to think on Saturday."

Remus laughed nervously. Sirius had reminded him that Monday was coming up. Monday. The day of the full moon.

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The weekend passed uneventfully, and Remus wasn't troubled again by his dreams. All to soon, it was Monday morning, and Remus awoke feeling sick. He groaned and put his arm over his eyes to shield them from the sunlight. His head was pounding. He was debating working up enough energy to close the gap in his curtains, when someone did it for him.

"Thanks," he croaked.

"You're welcome, Moony," James whispered so as not to disturb him. "Would you like me to bring you up some breakfast?"

"No thanks."

"Okay then," said James, "Sirius and me'll get you to the Hospital Wing after breakfast, okay?"

Remus didn't reply, or even correct James' grammar, as he had fallen asleep again. James looked at the curtains that were hiding his friend._It's not fair that he should have to suffer so much. The sooner we finish the potion, the better._

On Saturday night, unbeknownst to Remus, he and Sirius had snuck out to start getting the rarer of the ingredients to the Animagus potion. They had found the Acromantula web without any major mishap (they survived). All they had left to do now was get a bit of their animals, and the Pickled Dragon Tongue, which they were going to have to buy.

James' stomach growled, reminding him of breakfast in the Great Hall. Heturned and lef the room.

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After breakfast, Peter, James, and Sirius went back up to the dormitory to get Remus. When Sirius opened the curtains, they found him sleeping peacefully. It seemed a shame to wake him up.

He was curled up in a tight ball, the blanket coming up to his nose. His light brown hair partially obscured his face, but from what they could see, he was almost unnaturally pale.

Peter shook his shoulder. "Remus, it's time to get up now."

Remus slowly opened his eyes. James felt his stomach knot in fear as he saw that Remus' eyes were a wild, golden color. Remus blinked, and the color faded back to grey ever so slightly.

"Do I have to get up?" the blanket muffled the question, but James understood well enough.

"Yes, Moony, we have to get you to the Hospital Wing now, or you're going to be stuck here until we get out of class."

He sighed. "Okay, I'm up." He slowly sat up, and swung his legs out of bed. He stood, and would have fallen if Sirius hadn't caught him. After that, he seemed more steady, but it still took him a long time to get his robes on. Finally, with James and Sirius on either side supporting him, they made their way to the Hospital Wing. (Peter left to get to class)

Madame Pomfrey hurried over to him. "Goodness, Mr. Lupin! Quickly, Potter, Black, let's get him to lay down." She directed them to a bed, where Remus lay down gratefully.

"I'm fine guys," he said, his voice hoarse, "Get to class, you're going to be late."

"Are you sure you're okay?" asked Sirius.

"I'm fine."

"Well, in any case," said James, "We'll be back at around 4:30. See you then, Moony."

Remus sadly watched his friends go. He'd give anything to be able to go with them. Resignedly, he rolled over and waited for the day to pass.

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Ithink this is the longest chapter...soI hope you liked it. I'm sick so i have nothing better to do than write this so, yeah...let's face it...I'm bored.

Moony.


	7. Moonlit Danger

Author's Notes: I've gotted a few more reviews, so I've updated. Hope you enjoy. Also, I've figured out the dividers! but it still won't accept stars for some reason. oh well.

Disclaimer: JKR owns all.

* * *

Chapter 7: Moonlit danger 

_The moonlight is waning, but danger's no stranger here. _– Disney's Tarzan

"Remus, guess what?" said James, clearly excited. He and Remus were sitting under a large oak tree near his house in the moonlight. The biting wind blew the boy's hair and they shivered.

"What, James?" Remus asked, digging a small hole in the dirt with his finger.

"I've got a surprise for you." James answered with a wicked grin. A disembodied snort rang out from behind them. Remus jumped. He stared hard at a place a little to James' left from where the snort had come. There wasn't anything there.

But then, the invisibility cloak was whirled about, revealing a grinning Sirius.

"Sirius!" cried Remus, delighted. He dove and play wrestled with his friend.

"Dog pile!" James shouted, throwing himself into the heap.

They wrestled for a while before James and Sirius had to return home, promising they would return in two nights.

Still smiling, his cheeks pink from the fun and from the cold, Remus crept inside his house, unaware of the Waxing Gibbous moon hanging overhead.

* * *

(a pub in Nockturn Alley)

A large, black velvet bag of gold fell loudly on the grimy table.

"Will this be enough?"

A man leaned back in his chair, falling into shadow. His golden eyes glittered under his hood.

"It might."

Regulus Black narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. The less words exchanged between him and the disgusting werewolf, the better.

"But then again," the beast continued, "It depends on how much trouble I meet."

"You only have to kill one small child. Perhaps two."

"Perhaps two?"

"I understand that he's been sneaking out to play with the Potter brat." Regulus glanced around the dim pub to make sure no one was listening. He need not have bothered. It was noisy, and half the occupants were drunk.

"Potter?" asked the werewolf, mildly interested. "That's a right powerful family. I'll be damned if I get any one of them on my trail."

"If you have any problems, I'll boost my payment. Now if you'll excuse me, I have...other business to attend to." That was a lie; he just wanted to get away from the hideous creature. Black got up to leave, but the werewolf stopped him.

"What do you want me to do with the bodies?"

"Whatever you want."

He hurried away, pulling his hood farther over his face. The last thing he needed was to be seen in the company of a werewolf.

* * *

Remus quickly buttoned up his coat. Then, he quietly went down stairs and out the door to the tree where he would meet James and Sirius. As he walked out the door, he didn't even notice the full moon hanging, seemingly innocuous over head.

The night was crisp and the full moon illuminated everything with a silvery glow. It was getting on to November, but Remus didn't feel the cold as he walked briskly.

He reached the tree and sat down to wait. It wasn't long until the air shimmered and his two best friends appeared, grinning like maniacs. Remus smiled.

"So," said Sirius, clapping his small hands together. "Where shall we explore tonight?"

Remus shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me. What do you think, James?"

James thought for a moment. "Let's go...to the Meadow! Yeah! We haven't been there in forever!"

The Meadow was a small pasture that had been used for farming in the Middle Ages. But since the Lupin family had come to live in those parts, it had gone wild. The boys loved playing hide and seek in the tall grass that was almost as tall as they were. They set off, racing happily, laughing as they ran.

* * *

With a howl and snarl, the hireclaw, as people like him were called, charged into the forest with only one thought on his wolfish mind. _Kill the two brats._ His muscles rippled under the sleek reddish fur. An evil, intelligent light shone in the monster's eyes as he contemplated his task. 

The wolf didn't know why the man part of him wanted to do kill the cubs, but it was to the wolf's liking, so he did not question the plan. Easily, he loped through the trees, a silent, but efficient killing machine.

Almost invisible in the darkness, the werewolf caught a scent. There were three of them, he decided. This puzzled him slightly, but he decided that it didn't really matter. Heading west, the werewolf sped up. The scent was only a few hours old.

* * *

Author's Notes: A hireclaw, is a werewolf hired like an assassin. Did you like Chap. 7? If you did, REVIEW! (But review anyway, even if it's not your favorite.) Thanks! 

–Moony


	8. Full Moon

Author's Notes: action this chapter. I promise. It will be longer, too. I better get a whole lot of reviews! or maybe I won't update again! Ha! How would you like that, all you anonymous-readers-who-won't-bother-to-leave-a-review!

about the werewolf. my theory is that werewolves don't like to eat humans, they're threatened by them. therefor, they try to turn every human into one.

Disclaimer: I only own the plot.

* * *

Chapter 8: Full Moon 

Remus was gently shaken awake. He groaned and turned over, his head feeling like it was about to split, andhis stomach churning. It's good thing he hadn't eaten anything today. He cracked his eyes open only to squeeze them shut again. Silently, he cursed the sun.

"Come now, Mr. Lupin," Madame Pomphrey said softly, "The moon rise approaches."

The first sensation of fear twisted his stomach. Blood draining from his face, he sat up slowly, so as not to make his head hurt worse. He was dimly aware that his friends were watching him worriedly from the foot of the hospital bed.

In a daze, he shakily got dressed. His fingers fumled with the clasp to his cloak until someone fastened it for him.

The walk down to the Shack passed in a blur. James, Sirius, and Peter walked silently beside him. At the tree, Madame Pomfrey stepped back and James and Sirius solemnly wished him luck. Peter was silent, and kept looking at his feet. Sirius whispered in his ear so the Mediwitch wouldn't hear.

"When we become animagi, everything'll get easier, you'll see." He graped his friends' shoulder. Then, he James and Peter walked back to the castle, where friendly and inviting lights twinkled in the dusk. Remus longed to be able to go back with them...

But he was left alone to walk down the dreary tunnel to the dilapidated house.

He began to feel the first tug of the moon and hurried down the passage way. The air grew colder and the light faded. Through the darkness, he looked up to see the trap door that led to the Shrieking Shack, his prison.

He stepped up into the dusty Shack; there was so much dust in the air, he felt suffocated. Coughing, he made his way upstairs to the bed room, where he took his clothes off and carefully folded them. He placed them in an old armoir, hoping his human sent wouldn't drive the wolf too crazy.

Resignedly, he sat on the dusty bed. All he had to do now was wait... He tried to sort out his thoughts as they became more and more muddled.

It wasn't the transformation itself that he dreaded the most. The pain, he could deal with. The sensation of bones reforming, his spine curving...he could deal with that. It was the horror of losing his mind to the daemon, the wolf, that frightened him more than anything. Losing control over his own body to something evil was more terrifiying to him than the thought of a hundred dementors.

He shivered, not from cold, but from fear. The moon would rise soon...

Unbidden, memories of the dreams resurfaced. He had a morbid feeling he knew what the next dream would hold. Everything seemed to be coming together. James and Sirius...the hireclaw...the fact that neither he nor his two best friends could remember anything before agesix was proof enough that the nightly visions were not simple fantasies.

The logical part of Remus' mind kicked in. There had to be a reason for this. The dreams were not random memories or visions. There had to be some reason he was being shone them...But what was it?

A silvery light cut through Remus' musings like a cruel dagger. He froze and slowly turned his head. The moon shone down on him, cruel, mocking, uncaring...Already, the first stage of the transformation was upon him.

Trying vainly not to cry out in pain, tears sprung from the young werewolf's eyes. His shoulders hunched forward. Hair sprouted along his back as his spine twisted...Oh how it iched...But he couldn't scratch. His hands were curling into balls, his fingers shrinking and the nails grew sharp. With a final yelp (he had given up being silent) a grey wolf collapsed on the bed in the boy's place. It blinked, confused for a moment by the torrent of smells assaulting it's newly formed nose. It howled. Human! It smelled fresh! There had been a human here...Fear gripped the monster as it tried desperately to try and find the source for the scent. But it seemed to be coming from everywhere, from him. Angry and still afraid, he howled again and desperately tried to bite himself...he had to get the human, even if the smell was coming from him.

* * *

James, Peter, and Sirius moodily walked back to the castle, lagging behind the nurse. James dimly heard a pained howl in the distance and froze, tears threatening. He turned and looked in the direction of the Whomping Willow, but could see nothing because of the dusk. Then, resolved, he began walking faster. The sooner they finished the potion, the better. Remus deserved better than this monthly torture, and if he, James, couldn't take it away from him, he should at least do everything in his power to make it easier for his friend. Sirius, understanding, sped up as well. 

"James?" he asked an unspoken question. _What are we going to do?_

"Sirius, you have that dog hair you swiped from that farm near Hogsmeade?"

"Yes." answered Sirius.

"And Peter," asked James, "You have your rat hair, right?"

Peter nodded.

"Then we shall take the potion tonight. It's ready. And with luck, by next month, we'll be able to help Moony."

The three remaining Marauders made their way to their potion. Sirius glanced over his shoulder where the moon shone like a crystal ball.

* * *

The wolf howled in rage in pain. Giving up his self mutilation, he threw himself against the trap door to the Shrieking Shack, trying to get out. Something told him he'd have a better chance getting out that way. With a resounding crack, the wood buckled and split, sending the surprised animal falling into the musty tunnel. Dazed, the wolf shook his head. He got his bearings and triumphantly loped down the tunnel. 

After a while, he saw the stars through a hole in the ceiling. Roots framed the little exit from the tunnel. Growling, the beast wriggled through the annoying roots only to be wacked in the head by a great branch.

Stars burst in front of his eyes, he felt warm, sticky blood flow down his back and matt his fur. Ignoring the pain in his head, he tried again, obtaining the same result, except, this time, the blow fell on his back, sending him flying. Howling with rage and pain, the wolf tried desperately to get back to the tunnel. But the branches wouldn't let him do that, either. A great knobby branch got him as he leaped for the tunnel, catching his unprotected stomach and chest. Winded, dazed, and in pain, Moony tried feebly to get up. Getting his second wind, he flung himself into the tunnel, just before a branch nearly decapitated him.

In the dark tunnel, he lay panting for what seemed like hours. Rallying, he picked himself up and limped back to the Shack.

Every breath and every step caused a new wave of pain. Rallying one last time, he managed to get through the trap door. Now in the dusty hall, Moony collapsed, immediately losing consciousness.

Everything was cloudy and foggy, colors and shapes blurred. He was dimly aware of a bright light and an exclamation. All went black.

* * *

Three young boys played in a moonlit field. Remus was suddenly aware that the smallest one was him. He watched, fascinated, as the boys played hide and seek in the tall, unkept grass of a field. A brilliant full moon shone overhead, and, from the little clouds forming from their breath, Remus could tell that it was quite cold. 

His younger self, grinning childishly, hid near the edge of the grass where the forest started. Remus started. Two cruel eyes glinted through the trees. He wanted to cry out and warn his younger self, but no sound came from his lips.

James and Sirius laughed as they found him, but their gaiety was cur short when the monster pounced on the poor, unsuspecting child. A shrill cry escaped the young boy's lips as the sharp teeth of the beast closed around his leg.

James and Sirius were frozen with shock and fear. The werewolf turned to look at them, blood dripping from it's lips, feral eyes shining maliciously. James stumbled back, but Sirius was too stunned to move. Gasping for breath, he came to his senses and jumped back beside James, who had fainted. But a root from the huge oak at the edge of the forest tripped him, and he fell. In horror, Remus watched as the huge wolf approached his friends. He watched as Sirius closed his eyes, waiting for the end...but it never came.

"Noooooo! Avada Kedavra!" Someone jumped in front of Sirius as he fainted.

The night was turned green and the scene disappeared as the werewolf fell to the ground, dead.


	9. Memories Complete

Author's Notes: Hi! I'm just updating this so I can reply to a reviewer. (everyone should follow their example and write one!)

YamikiofAnime: I appreciate the review, but in my profile, I clearly state that I won't write slash. I'm sorry if that disappoints you, butSirius and Remusare my two absolute favorite characters, and in my mind, completely straight. Sorry!

Disclaimer: sigh these are sooo annoying. I DON"T OWN ANYTHING! I ADMIT IT!

* * *

Chapter 9: Memories Complete

James stared into space, eyes glazed. Though his expression was calm and indifferent, his mind was reeling. He relived new memory after new memory as if it had just occured.James put his head in his hands, thinking of what Moony had told him just an hour before.

_Remus was sleeping peacefully,unaware of the large gash over his right eye. His unnaturally pale face was bruised and cut.The boysighed and turned over in his sleep, looking absolutely helpless._ _His hair was matted from blood and dirt. Dark smudges under his eyes toldofloss of sleep, soMadame Pomphrey had finally stopped fussing over him and let him rest._

_Remus stirred, and James whispered, "Moony, you awake?" Remus opened his eyes. James froze. They were that terrible golden-color. When he blinked, it cleared a little bit, but the golden tint still remained. _

"_James?" his voice was hoarse, "What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" _

_James shook his head. _

"_Nothing. How do you feel?"_

_Remus smiled wryly. "Like I've been run over be a troll." He frowned. "James, I had __another dream."_

_James leaned forward. "What happened in it?"_

_Remus was silent for a moment. "We...we were playing in...a field near my house...It was cold...so cold...we played hide and seek. I went to hide, but..." he stopped, shivering._

"_Do you want me to get the nurse?"_

_Remus shook his head. "But...something leaped out at me...it was horrible...a great big wolf...you and Sirius came...and it almost killed you, but then someone yelled something and killed the wolf...and then everything went dark. James," he whispered, afraid, "I think that was when I...when I was...bitten."_

_He coughed several times and moaned before loosing consciousness again. James called for Madame Pomphrey. The nurse came quickly and took Remus' temperature, declaring he had a small fever. _

James stayed by his friend's side the rest of the night.

"James!" James felt himself being shaken awake. It was morning, and he was stiff from having slept sitting up all night. He looked over to see Remus still asleep.

"Sirius, I need to tell you something." he retold what Remus had said.

Sirius sat for a moment. "So...that's when it happened. We were there...we could've done something to save him." He curled his fist into a ball, and glared down at it, eyes narrowed. "Remus deserves so much better than this, it's not fair." He looked at his sleeping friend. "Look at him James. He looks two years younger than us, he's so small. And he's so beat up... we could have prevented that."

James didn't know what to say. The same thoughts had occurred to him as well.

"Sirius..." but he was cut short as Remus stirred on the bed and opened his bleary eyes. James was glad to see the gold had faded almost completely.

"Hey Moony," Sirius said gently, "How are you feeling?"

Remus shrugged, then looked like he regretted it as he winced in pain. "Okay, I guess."

Sirius frowned, but said nothing.

* * *

Christmas Break had finally arrived. Sirius was the only one staying at school, when the others offered to stay, he dismissed them saying, "Can't bear to be parted with me for a second, eh? Well, go home guys, I have a girlfriend to keep me company."

He had, in fact, just recently acquired a new blonde, thin, tall, and dumb;a Hufflepuff that spent all of her time reading fashion magazines. Not one of the other Marauders understood what he saw in her, but they never bothered to bring up the subject around Sirius.

So it was that only three Marauders were on the Hogwarts Express, heading home. The trip was uneventful, and they played Exploding Snap all the way to London.

Remus had mixed feelings about seeing his parents. He now knew that they had modified his memory. Though he also knew they had a good reason and were only doing what they thought was right, he was a little angry with them. They had lied to him all his life, lied about the thing that had ruined his future, the thing that prevented him from ever being considered human.

All too soon, they arrived at King's Cross. It was beginning to snow, but the station was warm with all the people crowded together, waiting for their kids. He spotted his parents near the barrier and paused; they hadn't seen him yet, and he didn't know how to greet them. Should he be mad? Should he be resigned? Should he be happy and pretend everything was alright? Too late his parents saw him. He put on a false smile and went to hug them.

"Mum, Dad! I missed you so much!"

His parents held him tightly for a moment. His mother gave him an extra squeeze before she straightened up. "We missed you too, sweetie, now, let's get you home.

Remus gabbed his mother's arm right before she apparated. He gritted his teeth through the unpleasant squeezing sensation. Soon, he found himself facing the familiar living room.

The oriental rug that covered the floor had once been thick and full of vibrant colours. Now it lay, thin and worn, all the colours turned to grey. Against the far wall, an old antique sofa, wood scratched and worn, sat under a painting of one of his ancestors. The man smiled out of his portrait, greeted Remus with a warm hello, then dissappeared into the wall.

"Remus, dear, your trunk's in your room. Why don't you take your uniform off so I can wash it?"

Remus left the living room through a door to his left and walked down the short hallway to the stairs. He climbed them, wearily pulling himself up with the handrail, his suddenly tired feet dragging on the ancient wood. Once on the landing, he opened the nearest door and walked inside.

Remus studied his room. It looked different, somehow. There was The Lord of the Rings he had read when James had first appeared. He picked it off the shelf, then set it back down. The room was completely unchanged. He was the one that had changed. He remembered even more than what he had seen in the dreams. He remembered his whole life, from before. From when he was still human...

He set his trunk at the foot of his bed and unpacked. Unlike most boys his age, Remus actually _folded _his clothes neatly and placed them in his armoir. By the time he was done unpacking, the sun had set and wonderful smells were wafting up from the kitchen, putting aside his anger, at least for his mother. He hastily finished putting away his last cloak and quickly walked downstairs. For all his neatness and perfectionism, Remus was still a hungry boy.


	10. Of Hormones and Boring Rooms

Author's Notes: I have a MAJOR writer's block problemo. Please give me suggestions! and reviews! how about both? Anyway, i hope you read this slightly stupid and boring chapter.

Disclaimer: Own Harry Potter, I do not.

woot! yoda! (don't own him either.)

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Chapter 10: Of Hormones and Boring Rooms 

By the time the Christmas holidays were almost over, Remus still hadn't talked to his parents about his bite. In fact, he barely talked at all. He was sure they noticed this, but was grateful when they didn't press him. Maybe if they were the ones to bring up the painful subject somehow, it would be easier to ask them about.

But on the morning before Remus was to return to Hogwarts, he knew that the conversation would never happen. Deciding to wait until summer, he began packing his trunk. Two worn cloaks, his school uniforms, quills, parchment and textbooks were all packed halfhazardly by the distracted teen. When he finished, Remus felt that something was missing.

He sat for a moment, wondering where the sudden feeling had come from. Then it hit him. All the other boys brought things like pictures and posters. They had all personalized their part in the dorm, but he, Remus, had left his area blank and neat...and boring. Remus looked around his room again. His room suddenly appeared dull. There was nothing there that was personal, unique.

_Being poor stinks_, thought Remus, _If only my parents had managed to keep the fortune they inherited. _

Twenty years ago, the Lupins had been very wealthy. Now, all they had was a good name and a house that told of better times when money had been easy to come by. But even the name wassteadily losing it's power. Slowly but surely, the Lupins had lost the reputation of being 'stinking rich'. The year Remus turned ten, the rest of the fortune dissapeared into debt payments, along with the many fine things the house once held, and with most of his things. All had been sold. His parents no longer had enough money to buy him anything at all, beyond necessities. All that he had left were books.

A feeling of self pity blossomed in his stomach. A werewolf _and_ poor. Could he sink any lower in society?

"Something wrong, Remmie?"

Remus jumped at the soft sound of his mother's voice.

"No, Mum." he said tersely, "Nothing's wrong."

"Remus, I'd appreciate you telling me the truth for once, instead of your normaly evasive answers."

"Sorry."

His mother laid a hand on his should,buthe turned his head away from the hand.

"Really, what is it, sweetie?"

"I said it was nothing." Remus was beginning to be annoyed at his mother's persistence.

"If it's nothing, why are you sitting there?"

"I was packing!" he said defensively.

"I was watching you for five minutes, Remus Lupin,and you certaintly didn't look like you were packing." His mother scolded.

"Mum, would you please, LEAVE ME ALONE!" Remus ended in a shout.

Mrs. Lupin froze and then got up and left without a word.

Remus growled, the regret churning his stomach annoyed him even more. Slamming the lid of the trunk, he flopped down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. White paint. Boring. He tried staring at the wall. Blank pale blue. Not a single picture. Boring. He decided to take a nap so as not to be tortured with the drab room.

The sun was setting be the time he woke up. He smelled dinner cooking downstairs. The sun threw slightly menacing shadows over the blue walls. Remus shivered. Creepy shadows.

He stood up and stretched, trying to wake up.

Dinner was eaten in an awkward silence. Remus stared at his plate while he ate to avoid conversation. No one else tried to brake the silence. Obviously his father had been told of his rude outburst.

"Remus..." his father began.

"Yes?" Remus replied as rudely as he dared.

His father narrowed his eyes. "What's gotten into you lately? I will not tolerate that kind of behavior. The full moon is two weeks away, you don't have an excuse. Now, apologize to your mother."

Remus bit back a growl. "Sorry." he muttered.

"Excuse me? I couldn't here that. Say it louder."

"SORRY!" He yelled. He got up and stomped back upstairs.

Mr. Lupin sighed, suddenly tired. His wife lay a hand on his arm. "I'm sure it's just hormones, dear."

"He's 15, Nathalie, his hormones never made him act like this before."

"Well, I'm sure it'll pass..."

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Up in his rooms, Remus put his head in his hands. Why was he acting this way? His room had never bothered him before, why now?

_Maybe it IS hormones..._

_I'll apologize tomorrow,_ He decided.The young werewolfstood up and put his pajamas on.

_Might as well go to sleep..._

But he was still well rested from his long nap. He paced his room restlessly. After his fouteenth's pass near the bookshelf, he stopped. He reached up and took the Fellowship of the Ring off his shelf. He walked back to his bed, where he sat and read until finally falling asleep.

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Author's Note: yes, i know. bad chapter. but that's what you get with writer's block. I need reviews and suggestions!

Moony


	11. The Truth

Author's Notes: i have come to the conclusion that some of these chapters really, really, stink, so i'm going to start going over them and making them better. I'm expecting to have the next chapter up maybe in a week or two, because i'm mostly concentrating on my fictionpress account.

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Chapter 11: The Truth

Remus awoke the next morning with a light headache. He stared out the window that was half covered in frost.It was snowing again, the soft white flakes drifting softly down toEarth, where they lay upon the ground, blanketing all noise. He sighed and got dressed.

He knew as soon as he entered the kitchen that something was wrong. His mother's normally cheerful face was pale and worried. His father sat at the table, hidden behind the Daily Prophet. Remus' heart sank. There on the front page, in big black letters were the words "**TERROR STRIKES DIAGON ALLEY**".

"Dad?" asked Remus, "What's happened?"

His father calmly folded the newspaper and looked at him. "Voldemort"- Mrs. Lupin winced at the name - "and his followers have attacked Diagon Alley. Fourteen people are dead, and many more are injured." Jonathon Lupin sighed. "Remus, I want you to be very, very careful when you go back to school. Some of the Death Eaters, they say, were young. Seventeen at the most. I want you to stay away from...certain people at school. The Blacks, for example."

"You want me to stay away from Sirius?" asked Remus, his temper rising.

His father winced. "Well..."

"You want me to stay away from my best friend?"

"Remus...he may be a spy, or he could be under the Imperius Curse for all you know."

Remus glared at his father. "I doubt it, Dad."

"Remus," his father was losing his temper. "I know Sirius is a nice boy, but his parents are supporters of Voldemort! They might not be Death Eaters, but they like what he's doing!"

Remus was reminded horribly of a similar conversation he and his father had had on the night of his 6th birthday. "I'm not going to stay away from him, Dad. He sticks by me, even though I'm a monster, I'll stick by him, even though his parents are monsters!"

Mr. Lupin stared at his son in shock. "You're not a monster, Remus..."

Remus returned his glare. "Werewolves are listed as beasts in _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them._"

Remus' mother sobbed once from the stove, then turned and put breakfast on the table, trying to ignore her husband and son glaring daggers at each other. Mr. Lupin sighed. "Remus, sit down."

Remus obeyed, but still glared at his father. Mr. Lupin sighed again. "Remus...do you want to know why you are what you are?"

Remus didn't answer, he seemed suddenly frozen.

"Jon!" said Nathalie Lupin harshly, "This is no time to discuss this. Remus needs to eat, he needs to get to school..."

"We've got time, Nathalie," said Jon, still looking at his son. "Kids are going back to school with Floo Powder, because of the atack. Not by the train." Remus' mother frowned and turned back to the stove.

"Well Remus?" asked his father. "Do you want to know why?"

"I already know why." Remus said. His voice was so quiet and angry, it almost sounded like a hiss. Mr. Lupin paled.

"What do you mean you already know?"

"I was out playing with James and Sirius one night and a werewolf bit me."

His father was now so white, he looked like a ghost. Mrs. Lupin dropped the plate she was carrying to the table. It broke loudly in the silence. She quickly bent over and repaired it with her wand.

"How did you...how did you know that?" Jonathon Lupin whispered.

"I remembered." said Remus icily. "I remembered how you separated me from my friends before you took away my memory of them. I remembered how happy I was before, and now I know why I was always alone after. You took my friends away from me, and you're trying to do it again!"

"Remus..." his father's voice trembled. "We took your memories for your own good. You would have been so upset about never seeing your friends again...or never having any other friends again. We took away your memory so you wouldn't suffer much..."

Remus laughed harshly. "A lot of good _that _did me. I know now. I know that I could've had friends. That I didn't need to be alone."

"Remus, Sirius' horrible parents aside, Mr. and Mrs. Potter didn't want their son to be near you."

"THEN HOW THE HELL AM I FRIENDS WITH JAMES NOW?" Remus roared. His parents, it seemed to him, were just making excuses to justify what they had done.

"Remus, James is a lot older now! They feel that he's safer now that he know more magic! That's the only reason why they let him be friends with you!"

Remus' mother sank into a chair and put her head in her hands. "We were just trying to do what was best for you...Don't you think you would have minded being friendless more if you remembered having friends?"

Remus fell silent. He couldn't think of what to say to that because it was perfectly true. He stood up and paced once around the kitchen. He felt the eyes of his parents on his back, but ignored them.

"Remus?" asked his father after a painful minute.

"What?" he snapped, turning to face him.

"Why don't you go back to school now, so you can cool down. The Floo Powder's in the drawer in the living room."

Remus turned to leave.

"Remus?" asked his mother. He paused in the doorway. "Please, think about forgiving us...We did what we thought was right. We didn't mean to hurt you."

"I'll think about it." he said, before leaving.

Remus went to the drawer and got out the dwindling supply of Floo Powder. His eyes hurt and he rubbed them to keep the tears from falling. He through some powder into the fireplace, blinking in the suddenglow of emerald light. Stepping into it, he said "Hogwarts!" and disappeared. He reappeared in thewarm Gryffindor Common room. Many of the other students had already returned. They all spoke in hushedvoices, all with the same worried expression on their faces. Trying to ignore the strained atmosphere of the Common Room,Remus walked quickly up the stairs to the boys dormitory.

He entered the familiar room,ignoring James and Peter, who were unpacking, and fell on the bed.

"Moony?" He felt James standing beside the bed. "You ok?"

Remus sat up. "Yeah...m'fine...Just a row with my parents."

"Oh..." James left him alone and went back to unpacking.

Remus got up after a few minutes and went over to his own trunk and started unpacking. When he finished, he decided to sneak down to the kitchens. He hadn't eaten anything at breakfast for obvious reasons.


	12. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

Author's Notes: I want 22 reviews. i won't update until i get them. And I'm not dead people! i've been on fictionpress. my story's called Hidden Valley, and my pen name is Triden. My fic is really ten times better than this fanfic, so if you're interested, check it out.

short chappie. but important.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter, I do not own.

question: if you get something published, then write a non-official fic about it, would that go in original fiction or fanfiction? cuz i mean, what if the plot contradicts the real thing? then it would almost be like fanfiction, but it would be by you, so it's original fiction. that made no sense. ah well...

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Chapter 12: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

"Come on, Remus!" Peter called excitedly over his should. The four Marauders ran up yet another flight of stairs to the seventh floor, Remus lagging behind.

"Why? What are we doing?" he asked, clutching a stitch in his side.

"You'll see, Moony-pie!" called Sirius, way up ahead. "You'll love it! Trust me!"

They came to the corridor of the Room of Requirement. Quickly, James and Sirius rushed back and forth through the hallway three times, muttering under their breath. Remus and Peter stood panting and red faced, watching their two friends. After their third time around, a large door appeared in the center of the wall.

Grinning, James opened it and bowed. "Ladies first!"

Remus rolled his eyes and followed Peter and Sirius into the room. They turned to face him, all three grinning like the maniacs they were.

The room was large and filled with mirrors and pillows of every colour, heaped half-hazardly around the room.

"Well? What brilliant thing have you done this time? Turned the Slytherin Common Room pink?" The werewolf asked sarcastically. (sp?)

James feigned insult. "Why Remus! What do you take us for? Amateurs? Turning the Slytherin Common Room pink is first year work! No, no, we've done something much more brilliant, original, and useful than that. We've done something no one our age has done before," he paused for dramatic effect, exchanging grins with Sirius, who continued.

"We've done the impossible! The amazing-

"Our magical brilliance will be forever praised!"

"The world will never be safe with our accomplishment!"

"Oh get on with it!" Remus groaned, already bored by his friend's idiotic exclamations. "_What did you do?"_

"May I present to you,Monsieur Padfoot!" exclaimed James.

Sirius bowed. Remus watched him bend farther and fartheruntil he realized his friend had changed shape. Sirius' black robes changed smoothly to jet-black fur; his ears grew, and his nose and mouth changed into a muzzle. The transformation complete, Sirius fell to the gound and stood on four legs.The great, shaggy dogbarked happily, wagging his tail as he bounded to Remus, who staggered back against the wall in shock. The gigantic dog's paws reached all the way to the boy's shoulder. Remus stared in shock at the dog that had been his friend moments before. The werewolf's hazel eyes met Sirius' familiar brown ones. The dog made a strange sound, and Remus saw the happiness in his eyes. He realized Sirius was laughing at him.

James and Peter hooted at Remus' shockedexpression. Sirius let Remus move forward from the wall, turning back into a boy and joining James and Peter in their peals oflaughter. Remus, however, was still too shoked to laugh.

"You...you're a...you...bloody hell, Sirius!" Remus grinned, shock rapidly dissapating. "You did it! You're an animagus!"

"We all are," said James. "Let's show him, Pete."

In a split second, James grew into a majestic stag.

He was much larger than a normal stag, with large antlers and intelligent hazel eyes. The stag trotted over to Remus, who hugged him.

"Thanks guys," he whispered,"You're the best friends I could ever have wished for."

Remus drew back from James and stared in surprise at the small rat that had climbed up onto the stag's back.

"Peter?" Remus asked, thuroughly surprised at his friend's form. A rat? Remus had thought Peter had seemed more like a mouse, or a hamster. Not like the most despised of the rodent family. The connotations of the word rat made Remus think of the words 'sneaky' and 'evil'. Kind and bumbling Peter did not fit those words well at all.

Peter and James transformed back. While James was grinning broadly, Peter's was a sheepish smile.

Sirius gestured to James and Peter. "Monsieur Prongs, and Monsieur Wormtail."

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," whispered Remus, thinking it over. "I like the sound of it."


End file.
